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Fake News




The podcast studio was the size of a large closet. In the middle of the room was a table with four mounted microphones in the center, two facing right the other two pointed left and a small soundboard set up on the upper right corner. The plaster wall was painted black with the words Information Defense Force painted in bold red letters across the surface.
Todd and Ryan were sitting across from each other, their faces illuminated by the glow of their open laptops. Ryan, the host, was in a plush leather office chair, while Ryan sat in a folding chair. Today, IDF was going live. The corporate-Marxists Hollywood machine had just launched a new phase in its ongoing cultural assault so it was up to self-appointed leaders like Todd to rally their troops and let them know what they could do to fight back.
"The SJDs have taken off their gloves now." Todd declared. "If what they're doing doesn't have you convinced they want to destroy the very basis of western culture, then I'm sorry you're lost. You're just lost."
"You know," Ryan interjected. "By, by altering our culture by changing our history, they're doing nothing less than attacking us."
"That's right! They're doing nothing less than declaring war.!" Todd banged his fist on the table. "You know we've been forced to swallow a lot of SJW garbage but not his time. Mark my words democrats us on the alt-right are going to defend the legacy of Herman Melville."
Seemingly manifested from nothing a pulsating golden orb appeared in the sealed room and hovered for a second along the ceiling.
"Holy shit what is that?!"
The orb started to grow until it was six feet high and nearly three feet across. The surface of the light began to bubble before it split down the middle and disappeared into a lightless void and a long leg stepped out. Todd and Ryan ran for the door, but it wouldn't budge.
"Help! Help!"
A tall featureless dark figure, like a three-dimensional shadow, emerged from the portal.
"Please don't be afraid I mean you no harm!"
Once Todd and Ryan calmed down the shadow creature explained it had come through an interdimensional door and had a message of vital importance to deliver to the human race.
As much disdain as Todd had for "snowflakes" he always figured that he must be special in some way and being visited by an interdimensional being was indisputable proof of that providence.
"So MY studio is an interdimensional doorway?" Todd asked.
"Yes, purely by coincidence though," the being explained.
"Right, right coincidence," Todd said with a smug smile.
"We have to hurry. I can't exist in your reality for too long," explained the alien.
"Give us a minute to get the soundboard going again, and we'll go live," said Todd.
"We'll the world hear us?" asked the alien.
Todd scoffed. "Uh yeah, I got over 250 thousand followers."
Todd and Ryan quickly fixed the equipment, and they relaunched the feed.
The alien didn't have a face, but it seemed pensive throughout the thirty-second prerecorded intro. When it stopped rolling the alien grabbed one of the mics but before he could speak Todd cut him off.
"Welcome to a very extraordinary edition of the Information Defense Force. Brothers our struggle has just taken on new dimensions and right now I mean that literally. We have with us today an alien from another reality.
Ryan turned the webcam to the alien and watched the simultaneous spike in the viewer metrics monitors.
"Now wherever this guy is from they apparently don't have names, so we're just going to refer to him as ET," Todd said. "Now ET you said you came to MY studio because you have a message for humanity. What is that message?"
"In my dimension, the circular nature of time expresses itself physically." Explained the alien. "You can stand at one point on the curve and look over the white expanse at another. To put it one way you can be in the year 2019 and see both 1919 and 3019. We've only recently been able to start seeing the other side of time, that other side being your reality."
"So, why did you come here? Is global warming real?" Ryan and Todd chuckled.
"I'm not here because of global warming," the alien replied.
"Aww see there it is!" Todd said triumphantly. "We've got confirmation from another dimension global warming is a liberal lie!"
"That's not what I'm here to say," the alien interjected.
"I've come to your dimension because-"
"Oh, we got some comments coming in," said Ryan.
Todd looked at his monitory. "Oh, that's a good question. Sonikdik224 asked if you're here to stop cucks from making an Indian woman Captain Abhab."
"Good question," Siad Ryan.
ET shook his head. "I don't understand what's being asked."
"So, Moby Dick is about whalers in like the 17th or 18th century or something like that. It's a classic piece of western literature that should be left as it is. Obviously, well I guess not obviously if you're an SJW cuck." Todd sneered. "Do you think an Indian woman would have been captain of a British ship back then?" Todd asked rhetorically.
"We are running out of time," ET said urgently "If our races are going to survive I have to tell you that-
Ryan interrupted again.
"B*tchk*ller66 says "really an alien??? Thats fuckin stupid I used to like this show but its gone way down hill. Todd and Ryan our cucks!" 
"Ban that asshole!" Todd hissed.
ET's ebony figure suddenly became transparent enough to see the back of the chair through his body. "Oh, no I'm fading out of this reality!"
"ET what's happening are you ok?" Todd asked.
"Time is gone. I'm sorry, but you will have to face what's coming on your own hopefully you are up to the challenge" ET said as the long figure faded away into nothing.
ET never returned, and there are no clues as to what his message to humanity was. Many people wondered if he even existed. Much of the word dismissed the interdimensional traveler and its warning to the human race of impending disaster as just another piece of fake news.

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