Skip to main content

On Dying

Death is one expression of the eternal triumph of entropy. Death is also the terminus of the individual human experience. Any complete understanding of homo sapiens would require insight into how they experience the process. Life is the foundation of consciousness the materialization of the metaphysical that inevitably disappears when the biological structures that supported it cease to function. It is the simple transformation of matter from the orderly to the chaotic.
 I was assigned to experience death as a human would. I inhabited the frail body of a homo sapiens and used it as a vessel with which to experience this process the way they do.
My neurology was completely integrated with that of my host's body physically. We became a singular entity. My muscles spasmed and went numb. A cocktail of neural chemicals was released by the physical brain in the moments before.
Death was gradual. It seemed to spread over the body steadily.As I exhaled my last breath, The ceased its forward motion and the world became a fixed image as still and lifeless as a portrait. Cracks quickly began growing across the surface, and darkness poured in through these fissures, Soon my last sight of the world sank into that abyss. I felt the panic followed by a moment of calm before I dissipated into darkness. I documented all this yet I fear it may have been a futile effort. My humanity was only illusionary and superficial.
 I could not feel the pain of losing the collective memories of a lifetime because I had none. I couldn't feel sorrow at the permanent absence from loved ones because I had never loved. I came and left nothing. The darkness that engulfed me swept away no stubbornly clinging remnants of life.
 I've realized death is above all a profound experience of loss it is no something we can simulate. No matter how far the singular order may ascend, no matter what knowledge is accumulated. No matter which new threads of the tapestry of reality we may pull at, death and the human experience will always remain a fundamental mystery of this galaxy and perhaps the universe, If all matter is constantly disintegrating and rearranging itself, then one must wonder what memories float among the dust.

Popular posts from this blog

Jumpers

The fleet of ships that now held what remained of humanity inside their titanium hulls hovered at the edge of space. The mood was somber as everyone waited in a quiet tension pendulating between despair and mind-shattering terror. The powering up of the colossal nuclear engines sent gale force winds ripping across the planet.  This was the beginning of their latest exodus, just another jump on their way to the last.  Human civilization's only hope rested with an asteroid that was hurtling in their direction. The appearance of this interstellar ballistic was heralded as a miracle, and indeed it was their only hope of escaping the world they devoured. When it screamed past the desolated little planet, they would launch themselves at the oncoming cosmic projectile it in a desperate attempt to cling to its jagged surface. It's projected trajectory was set to take it just outside the orbit of a small planet dubbed Toba. An infinitesimal but livable world.  There wasn't enough …

On the Eve of Extinction

The river was like a massive indigo snake coiling in the shadow of the canyons its eternal flow cut out of the very earth. Somewhere along the watery corridor, settled human life grew out of the muddy banks. The tribe sustained itself on the arterial river, steadily expanding and contracting with the rhythm of its flow like a beating heart.
As far as anyone in the tribe knew no other arrangement had ever existed. The river had birthed them, molding sand and clay into flesh, and infusing the husks with its life-giving waters.
Life under the desert’s smooth turquoise sky seemed safely stagnant. There was no inkling, no deciphered omens, absolutely no hunch of the approaching cataclysm lurking just out of sight obscured by the landscape’s jagged ridges.
Not far from the isolated patchwork of green and brown earth settled by this tribe, the scion of ancient god well into his twilight years was on the cusp of fulfilling his divine purpose.
Harmakar was sitting in the dust staring into the …

Ghosts in the Memories

It was a bright and mild morning. A few billowing white clouds drifted lazily across the ocean blue sky, the gentle sun reflected off the dew coated grass and flowers, giving the world a shimmer. A human stream filled the streets and sidewalks as the city rose to life.
One lonely widower had a different reaction to the beautifully emerging day.
Hibiki closed the shutters on his windows, locked the door, and sat his tired old body into a reclining chair in front of a blaring television. To Hibiki, the day’s crystal sky was a dark omen and a visceral reminder of that horrific moment all those decades ago when a flash of light took away 100,000 people.
Hibiki had been there when it happened. He was a doctor at the time, and while the bomb canceled the workday for most everyone else for people in Hibiki’s line of work, there was an additional layer of hell to endure.
“Please...Please..help my daughter!” Hibiki could hear a woman pleading from the street below. With a trembling hand, he pi…