Organic Gardening With The Vampire



If you're too lazy to read the story you can always listen to the narrated version by Jessica Taylor! Check it out here

All the curtains were drawn, and the lights turned out. He looked at the row of outlets on the wall just above the bed and wondered what it was all for. Marius had never been to the hospital before; he had never even seen a doctor before. Being immortal meant death had never been a consequence, so there was no need to worry about his health.
He had been known by many names and held many titles during his tenure as an unholy creature of the night, so many so, at this point he could scarcely remember what his birth name was. Such things held significance for the living, for people who needed to be defined by something they hoped would last longer than their finite lives
Perhaps it was to preserve a legacy, a way for mere humans who have no understanding of eternity to try and live forever. Marius knew a legacy amounted to little more than a memory and when you lived in memories you were still destined for the dark mouth of oblivion.
Perhaps that was why he made the deal with his dark mentor. To him it seemed like a rather one-sided agreement; he was finally free from the clutches of inevitable death and all it cost him was something as abstract as his soul.
Things took a turn thought when hardly a century into immortality he was privy to the horrible realization that even those like him were still well within death's reach.
He had this revelation when he saw Count Kirlov, the one who had shared these powerful gifts with him succumb to a well-placed stab by a pointed stick. That was enough to convince him to leave his fiefdom and carve out a new life as a Baron elsewhere. Despite his ghoulish appearance he managed to avoid detection, perhaps it was luck he was from Eastern Europe.
He had been born into wealth and had the advantage of having the cocoon of affluence. In his youth, he had been a scourge of the peasants, a pale demon who hunted men from the saddle of his ebony stallion. Eventually, though he was forced to hide in the confines of his castle where he hoped he would fade from memory, less his secret be discovered.
As he hid away the gears of time continued to grind and the wheels ceaseless turned and the world moved on without him. Ultimately he was forced to lead a centuries-long existence as an undead nomad. Soon the days of the nobles passed, and he saw his fortune vanish with it, but he had more than enough time to rebuild his wealth, and his time turned him into a keen investor.
He moved to New York City in the year 2000 AD and decided he could blend in there well enough. It was much like it had been back in the old land. If you had enough money, you could easily isolate yourself, and if you paid off the right people, they made sure you were left alone. Thanks to modern communications he was easily able to conduct his affairs without ever leaving his sanctuary of darkness and last year NYU had supplied him with an eager young intern named Tyler to handle his affairs.
Something started happening to him; his body was beginning to change. He had grown tired, paunchy, and his legendary libido had vanished. When he wasn't exhausted, he was often anxious. His once piercing eyes had become droopy orbs buried behind crows-feet. He thought about the handsome virile creature of the night he used to be and for the first time in almost 800 years he felt afraid.
His intern suggested seeing a doctor. Marius wanted to know if anything was wrong right away so they went to the hospital and said they would wait there until the blood work came back. Marius learned a long time ago that bundles of money tended to make things go a little faster and often went a long way in convincing people to ignore the fact he's a vampire.
He watched the young man gazing at the glowing screen of his tablet from behind his tortoise shell glasses. He always seemed to be mesmerized by the hypnotic glow. It was at these times he felt a certain fondness for the servants in his castle days. What humans called "mid-evil times," they were chivalrous, attentive, and the social separation between them was nothing compared to the separation of 27 generations.
The vampire began to feel restless. He slid off the bed and began pacing back and forth occasionally he would stop to pull back the curtain and peer in the hallway.
“How long is this going to take?” He muttered.
The intern's eyes broke away from the flickering light.
“Sorry sir, but things can get backed up in these labs.” He said apologetically.
Marius answered with a groan.
“You can watch something on YouTube if you want.” He said offering up his tablet.
“Yeah ok, why not?” Marius shrugged.
Tyler handed him the tablet and immediately drew a phone from his jacket pocket and focused on its slightly smaller glowing screen.
Marius looked watched him for a second and sighed.
“Oh, before I forget sir I need you to sign my time sheet today so I can log my hours at school.”
“What? Oh yeah sure.” Marius said indifferently.
He supposed the young Tyler was still in many ways like many of his previous servants. He was ambitious but at the same time spineless and motivated by what seemed to be implied promises of success from powerful people he was hoping favored him. Fortunately, it was that lust for future rewards that completely absolved him of morality and made him a dependable servant for a creature like Marius.
Marius looked at him and sighed. He had no idea he his severance package would probably consist of being devoured.
There was a knock at the door. Marius looked at Tyler and nodded. He opened the door, and the doctor walked in holding a manila folder.
The doctor was a short, stout man with a round frame. He breathed heavily when he walked, and it looked at any moment his waist would burst from the confines of his khaki pants tied up by his brown leather belt.
“Good evening count.” He said with a grin. “Sorry, that took so long.”
“Yes, yes, that's all fine.” Said Marius. “Now what exactly did you find?”
“Well.” The doctor said with a sigh as he sat down in a chair next to the bed and opened the manila folder. “I'm going, to be honest, it's not good. However, I think with the proper treatments it should all be entirely fixable. At least it might be in a human I don't know about vampires.” He said
Marius glared at him and exposed just a bit of fang. The doctor picked up the gesture and hurriedly pulled out the results.
“Ummm according to your blood work you have dangerously high cholesterol. We also found some narcotic compounds in the toxicity test, and I think you may have diabetes.
We believe you may have more than one malignant tumor, and we've also found you have gout. The doctor grimly informed him.
“So what does all that mean?” Demanded Marius.
“Do you want me to look it up on the medical advice app sir?” Tyler asked.
“Why would I want you to do that? We are standing in front of a doctor.” Marius hissed.
“Mr. um Vampire.
“Marius.” The vampire corrected.
“Marius.” The doctor said starting over. “Most of what I found can be the result of an unhealthy lifestyle. What's your diet like....Oh well, I guess we know that already.”
“I don't 'understand it!” Lamented Marius “it's been the same for centuries why is this happening now?”
“Marius when you drink someone's blood do you only drink their blood?”
“No, I eat some of the flesh too. You simply just don't get enough nutrition from the blood alone.” Said Marius.
“Hmm Right.” The doctor said as he leaned back and folded his hands. “Now what kind of people do you normally eat?” He asked.
“Ohh I don't know for the last year, it’s just been whoever Tyler brings me.” said Marius
“And what kind of people do you bring him?” The doctor asked looking over at Tyler.
“I'm sorry what was that?” Tyler replied looking up from his phone.
“Put the goddamn phone in your pocket before I gut you.” Marius roared.
“What kind of people do you bring Marius to eat?” The doctor asked again.
“Oh, I'm very careful about that. I never bring back anyone people will go looking for.” Answered Tyler
“So would you say these are....people on the lower end of the socio-economic spectrum?” The doctor asked.
“Well, sure the cops tend to look for rich girls. Remember that girl who disappeared in Aruba that was national new for almost a year.” Said Tyler.
“Hmmm, I see.” The doctor said.
“Why do you want to know about that?” Marius asked.
“Marius do you watch the news? Are you aware of all the different chemicals that are in the food Americans eat?”
Marius shrugged.
“If I were to be I would say that is what's causing you to get sick. The people you're eating are probably eating fast food, GMOs, and other chemically laced garbage. If you keep that up I'm afraid, you'll only get worse.” The doctor said grimly.
“So what do I Do!?” Pleaded Marius.
“I would say start going after victims with a healthier lifestyle. Try moving close to a Whole Foods or maybe send the kid to farmer's markets from now on.” The doctor said.
“But he has to keep a low profile. If that many affluent people start to go missing, we'll be found out!” Whined Tyler.
“Yes doctor the boy is right, part of being a vampire is maintaining a low profile.”
“Well, have you considered growing your own food?” The doctor asked.
“Growing my own food?” Marius repeated.
“Yeah, it's quite popular these days. Many people have vegetable gardens, hell some even raise their own chickens.”
“I'm not sure I follow.” Said Marius.
“Why don't you start raising healthy people to eat?” Suggested the doctor.
“Where would I get healthy people to raise?” Marius asked.
“Well, you're obviously a man of means have you considered adopting kids from foreign countries?” The doctor asked.
“What do you mean?” said Marius.
“Well, many celebrities adopt children from third world countries as a PR stunt now, and the governments are usually willing to give kids to affluent Americans. Maybe if you got a few from say Africa or Asia you can raise them for a little while, and eventually you'll have all the healthy meals, you'll need. You'll be food self-sufficient.” The doctor said with a smile.”
“This sounds like a good idea, long term thinking I like that,” Marius said brandishing his fangs.
“Tyler get me the number for an international adoption agency.” He ordered
“I'll check my apps.” Tyler said earnestly.
“I heard China's trying to unload as many girls as possible.” The doctor said enthusiastically.
Marius shook hands with the doctor and departed with his intern. He felt the sun was shining on a new day for him, although, of course, not literally.
Marius was going to do something no vampire had ever done. He was going to give up on hunting and pursue a new type of agriculture; humans were what would be reaped and sown. Over the generations, he could grow and modify them in any way he saw fit.


THE END:
Now, a little note from the author:
About seven years ago two stories I submitted were printed by an Australian based literary magazine called Skive. Just a few months later more of my work was accepted by a publisher in Scotland and another in Kentucky. That’s when I knew the first time hadn’t been just a fluke! From then on I wrote as much as I could and submitted work anywhere I could.

As it stands, my work has been printed in 11 different volumes and has been featured in numerous Ebooks as well as distributed on literary-themed websites. I try and be as industrious as possible and strive for at least two short stories a month. Usually, these are about 1,000-3,000 words. I have no plans to commit myself to a novel my style just works best at that length. So take a look at my work. If you donate, you have my undying gratitude! Even if you don’t but at least come back and see what I’ve written from time to time that would be greatly appreciated as well.

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